Wanted! A Good Woman


I photographed this poster prominently displayed in the forrard window of a motor cruiser moored at the mouth of a river on the east coast of Kent, England, in 2009.   For those who are unable to decipher the wording on the poster, I quote it here . . .

Must Be Able to Clean
Cook, Sew, Dig Worms
and Clean Fish
Must Have Boat 
and Motor

The, presumably tongue-in-cheek, audacity prompted me to write the verses below . . .

Wanted!  A Good Woman

Wanted! A pliant good woman
A sturdy strapping lass;
Content to be a willing wife –
One of the servile class.

Someone to meet my every need,
Allow me my own space;
Clean my house, cook. sew and dig
And do it with good grace.

My priorities must be upheld
I need no self-willed martyr
Who’ll bicker and demand a fee
Each time I tweak her garter.

A bit of brass, willing to share,
That would not go amiss
I’d give you pocket money too
And from time to time a kiss

A woman’s lot is never done
I know that’s what they say
But after all is said and done
It’ll be worth it for the pay.

You’ll get a home with bed and board
With a kind, considerate master.
What else in life could a lady ask
When all else now has passed her?

And so to sum up my request
I need a loving spouse
A soul-mate made to serve my needs
And good about the house.

Someone to moderate my charms
To make me more unfeeling …

… I don’t know why but no one yet
Has found my job appealing.



18 thoughts on “Wanted! A Good Woman

  1. Too funny, Roland. I’m afraid, though, it echoes the true thoughts of many males in the U.S. Otherwise, why would a certain presidential candidate have made it this far. It’s like you read his mind! 🙂


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