What’s In a NAME?

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A Girl’s Lament in her Search for a Suitable Partner

 

Ladies, I’m thinking,
of marrying soon,
But very few men
Would cause me to swoon.
I’d be very choosy,
I’d go for the name
I’m no boozy floozy,
They’re not all the same.

For I’d soon kill a Bill
Get sick of a Dick;
Disgorge a George,
And enslave any Dave.

I’d get fed up with Fred,
And I’d smack out at Jack;
I might prosper with Oscar;
Test my libido with Leo,
And treat Tom with aplomb.

I’d give Max the axe,
And both Lucus and Brutus –
No better than Judas!

A Ted I would dread;
As for Teddy –  not ready;
And Desperate Dan,
From far Kasakhstan,
Was never the man,
To be in my plan.

Yes, I went into spasm
When I first met Adam.
I’d give Joe the elbow,
He’s so gung-ho with gusto.

The pond I did dredge
To find only poor Reg;
Then a minnow ‘mongst men
I met poor little Ben.

Dylan’s a villain,
And Toby’s a phony.
Carter’s a martyr,
A long-suffering non-starter.
Jude was a pseud,
Lewd, crude and screwed.
As for Ollie, Good Golly,
Much too melancholy.

Frank drew a blank,
So rank … and he stank,
And no medal of honour
Goes out to Connor.

But I’d say after all –
Though I bawl and I stall,
I’d rather a Paul
Than just nothing at all.

Of course, if the chance
came my way,
Being so scrumptious,
To be a new duchess,
At the end of the day
No longer I’d tarry,
I’d marry a Harry.