Roll up! Roll up and help yourself,
Go on a spending spree,
For here you’ll find no worries now,
‘Cos all the cash is FREE.
Just help yourself, indulge and binge,
Splash cash without a thought.
Your bank is feeling generous
And it will cost you naught.
Perhaps their vaults are full today;
Maybe they’ve too much money.
Perhaps it’s just philanthropy,
Though something there feels funny.
So take advantage while you can
Of such fiscal generosity.
You’ll never have a better chance
To show your verbal virtuosity.
For when your monthly balance sheet
Shows all those sums in red,
Don’t bat an eyelid, keep quite cool,
Remind them what they said.
For FREE means FREE, you are quite right,
Tell your bank politely.
They may not listen, as is their wont,
Don’t let the beasts off lightly.