
I photographed this poster prominently displayed in the forrard window of a motor cruiser moored at the mouth of a river on the east coast of Kent, England, in 2009. For those who are unable to decipher the wording on the poster, I quote it here . . .
WANTED
GOOD
WOMAN
Must Be Able to Clean
Cook, Sew, Dig Worms
and Clean Fish
Must Have Boat
and Motor
ALSO SEND PICTURE OF
BOAT AND MOTOR
The, presumably tongue-in-cheek, audacity prompted me to write the verses below . . .
Wanted! A Good Woman
Wanted! A pliant good woman
A sturdy strapping lass;
Content to be a willing wife –
One of the servile class.
Someone to meet my every need,
Allow me my own space;
Clean my house, cook. sew and dig
And do it with good grace.
My priorities must be upheld
I need no self-willed martyr
Who’ll bicker and demand a fee
Each time I tweak her garter.
A bit of brass, willing to share,
That would not go amiss
I’d give you pocket money too
And from time to time a kiss
A woman’s lot is never done
I know that’s what they say
But after all is said and done
It’ll be worth it for the pay.
You’ll get a home with bed and board
With a kind, considerate master.
What else in life could a lady ask
When all else now has passed her?
And so to sum up my request
I need a loving spouse
A soul-mate made to serve my needs
And good about the house.
Someone to moderate my charms
To make me more unfeeling …
… I don’t know why but no one yet
Has found my job appealing.

Like this:
Like Loading...