cash | Roland's Ragbag

‘Britain on course to become cashless society ‘within the next 10 years’.

Article published in the Daily Telegraph … 19 February 2020

GOING CASHLESS

What would we do without our chequebooks?
Yes, What would we do without our cheques?
What would we do without our chequebooks?
Yet one more deprivation sent to vex.

What would we do without our cash cards?
And, What would we do without our coins?
What would we do without our cash cards?
We’d feel it in our purses and our loins.

What would we do without our pence?
Yes, what would we do without small change?
What would we do without our coppers?
Our lives would be so penniless and strange.

What would we do without our fivers?
Yes, What would we do without our fives?
What would we do without our fivers?
I doubt if any one of us survives.

What would we do without our tenners?
Yes, What would we do without our notes?
What would we do without our tenners?
No cash, no cheques, no fiscal anecdotes.

What would we do without our chequebooks?
Yes, What would we do without our cheques?
What would we do without our chequebooks?
Yet one more deprivation sent to vex.

WHB … ©

FREE CASH

Roll up! Roll up and help yourself,
Go on a spending spree,
For here you’ll find no worries now,
‘Cos all the cash is FREE.

Just help yourself, indulge and binge,
Splash cash without a thought.
Your bank is feeling generous
And it will cost you naught.

Perhaps their vaults are full today;
Maybe they’ve too much money.
Perhaps it’s just philanthropy,
Though something there feels funny.

So take advantage while you can
Of such fiscal generosity.
You’ll never have a better chance
To show your verbal virtuosity.

For when your monthly balance sheet
Shows all those sums in red,
Don’t bat an eyelid, keep quite cool,
Remind them what they said.

For FREE means FREE, you are quite right,
Tell your bank politely.
They may not listen, as is their wont,
Don’t let the beasts off lightly.