3 Limericks

Photo by Picography on Pexels.com

An irascible lady from Nice
Said to me ‘Will this noise ever cease?
I know you’re a dear,
But if a pin drop I hear
I’ll cut you to bits piece by piece.”

Said the doc, in his diagnosis,
“I’ve noticed in giving my prognosis,
Your ears have grown long,
You’ve got whiskers which pong,
I’m predicting myxomatosis.”

The misogynist said to his wife,
“Now let’s not have any strife;
Just do as I say,
Then we’ll both find a way
To live a harmonious life.”

A Seattle Limerick

‘The Pox Devil’ – WHB, 2018

 

‘Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.’

 

An old hooker who lived in Seattle,
Developed a cough with a rattle.
Yes, she had caught a chill,
And began feeling ill,
And soon knew she was losing the battle.

So she took herself off to the docs,
Who gave her the worst of all shocks,
When he said to her, “Dear,
It would seem to appear,
You’ve contracted a dose of the pox.

If you do not want to be dead,
I suggest you spend less time in bed.
It’s all much too risky,
So when you feel frisky,
Take one of these tablets Instead.”

 

 

 

The Cough With A Rattle

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

An old hooker who lived in Seattle
Developed a cough with a rattle;
Yes, she had caught a chill
And began feeling ill,
And felt she was losing the battle.

So she took herself off to the docs,
Who gave her the worst of all shocks.
When he said to her, “Dear,
it would seem to appear,
You’ve contracted a dose of the pox.

If you don’t want soon to be dead,
I suggest you spend less time in bed.
It’s all much too risky,
So when you feel frisky,
Take one of these tablets Instead.

 

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

 

Tuesday – ‘Take A Breather’

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

An aphorism for each day, keeps the doctor away. Each day this week I am offering a common aphorism, some just slightly embellished – for good or ill.

 

 

Take a breather,

Sit down – relax;

Consider your life,

Weigh up your options,

 

Take a breather,

Cover your tracks.

Plan ahead,

No wild concoctions.