KNOCKERS

In my naivety, I thought knockers were people who knocked at doors. ….

Doors, or so I thought, are knocked on ….

By Postmen
By The Police
By Postwomen

By Meter Readers
By Touters For Trade
By Charity Collectors
By Suspicious  Callers
By Christmas Carollers
By Political Canvassers

By Deliverers  Of Goods
By Beggars and Pleaders
By Children at Halloween
By Subscription Collectors
By Neighbourhood Watchers
By Collectors and  Borrowers
By Salesmen and Saleswomen
By Online Shopping Deliverers
By the Travelling Fish Van Man
By Vendors of Household  Goods
By Proselytisers of Religious Sects
By Kids Playing  Knock Down Ginger
By ‘Round Table’ Collectors at Christmas
By Persons leaving parcels for a Neighbour

BUT . . .

My illusions
were proved to be delusions
when, out browzing,
I came across the following …

My photograph was taken in Rye on the English Channel coast of East Sussex in 2005 . . .  WHB.

So to make the situation worse
I turned at last to verse . . . 

We do have the best knockers in town,
They patrol our street up and down.
If you’re not in good shape
Then you’d better escape,
Or they’ll certainly cause you to frown.

’Cos they ring and they knock twenty times,
Even when you’ve got ‘GO AWAY’ signs,
Saying “You must now leave
Or you’re going to receive
A summons for multiple crimes.”

But then someone pointed it out,
There certainly was cause for some doubt.
As I’m not very clever
I’d made a bad error
Over what this old sign was about.

They said I was most asinine;
I was dim and unable to shine.
To them it was clear
I had no idea
I’d mistaken a word in the sign.

Yes, to put it quite bluntly you see,
I’d boobed over what it could b.e
In my defence
I  thought something else.
I was really naive you’ll agree.

I had  taken the word at face value;
I believe every word these signs say.
I just wasn’t thinking;
Perhaps I’d been drinking;
Never dreamt that they meant it that way.

There was no way I could have guessed;
I  knew not these words were just jests.
If they’d meant to be clear
And were really sincere,
They should NOT have said ‘KNOCKERS’ but ‘CHESTS’.

We do have the best knockers in town,
They patrol our street up and down.
If you’re not in good shape
Then you’d better escape,
Or they’ll certainly cause you to frown.

’Cos they ring and they knock twenty times,
Even when you’ve got ‘GO AWAY’ signs,
Saying “You must now leave
Or you’re going to receive
A summons for multiple crimes.”

But then someone pointed it out,
There certainly was cause for some doubt.
As I’m not very clever
I’d made a bad error
Over what this old sign was about.

They said I was most asinine;
I was dim and unable to shine.
To them it was clear
I had no idea
I’d mistaken a word in the sign.

Yes, to put it quite bluntly you see,
I’d boobed over what it could b.e
In my defence
I  thought something else.
I was really naive you’ll agree.

I had  taken the word at face value;
I believe every word these signs say.
I just wasn’t thinking;
Perhaps I’d been drinking;
Never dreamt that they meant it that way.

There was no way I could have guessed;
I  knew not these words were just jests.
If they’d meant to be clear
And were really sincere,
They should NOT have said ‘KNOCKERS’ but ‘CHESTS’.

I’ll give the last words on this edifying subject to Paul McCartney and ‘WINGS’ . . .
“Someone’s Knockin’ At The Door”  (‘Let ‘Em in’ … 1976) .

Today’s Door

neon sign in a black background

Photo by Renda Eko Riyadi on Pexels.com

Today’s Door

Stir Your stumps
Get up and do it
Let not langour win
Life is swiftly passing by
Get up and face its din.

For every moment
Spent in bed
Is one less passed in living
Be up and face what life will bring
Conquer your misgivings

Today  might well
Be just the one
When all your dreams are met
When life and love meet happiness
If that’s not happened yet.

And if it’s not
What have you lost
You didn’t have before
At very least you’ll soon discover
What hides behind day’s door.

 

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Once Upon A Time

person holding compass

Photo by Valentin Antonucci on Pexels.com

Once Upon A Time

 

 

I used to open doors, now they open for me.

I used to walk upstairs, now I’ve a Stannah stairlift.

I used to dial on my phone, now I press a little green icon.

I used to fall asleep counting wooly jumpers, now I take a pill.

I used to put a record on the turntable, now Lady Alexa does it for me.

I used to visit shops, now shops come to me.

I used to get a tangerine in my Christmas sticking, now it’s a voucher.

I used to vote in a booth, now it’s by proxy.

I used to listen to the Goons, now I watch Gogglebox.

I used to holiday in Blackpool, now it’s a cruise.

  I used to be busy, now I’ve too much to think about.

 

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Dublin, City of a Thousand Welcomes

1Dublin-Georgian Doorway1

Dublin has many such beautiful doorways dating from the Georgian period

2Dublin-Doors

This one photo is from Pinterest – the others are all my own

Dublin, capital of the Republic of Ireland, is a beautiful city.  It is an absolute delight to wander around the lush green parks and open spaces, especially on a sunny afternoon.  My first visit, many years ago, was in torrential rain.  A lorry driver who generously gave a lift, southwards from the city, to two itinerant hitch-hikers, welcomed us with the comment, “Ireland is beautiful – just needs a bloody great umbrella over it”.  My second and third visits were in delightful sunshine which showed off the city’s exquisite Georgian architecture and its many monuments and statues to great advantage.  I add below a gallery of photographs taken during my last visit in 2010 …

Dublin-Approach from The Sea1

Sea approach to Dublin Harbour

Dublin-Aviva Stadium1

The Aviva Stadium – formerly Landsdowne Road Stadium – venue for major rugby and football matches

Dublin-St Patricks Cathedral1

St. Patrick’s Cathedral – Church Of Ireland.   Founded in 1191, its 43 metres high spire makes it the tallest church in Ireland.

Dublin-Fitzwilliam Square Georgian Houses1

Ivy covered Georgian Terrace houses

Dublin-Bay Windows1

Georgian-style Bay Windows

Dublin-St Stephens Green Shopping Centre1

Front façade of St.Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre

Dublin-O'Donovan Rossa1

Memorial Stone in St.Stephen’s Green Park, to Jeremiah O’Donovan Rossa,  (1831-1915) a former Fenian Leader.

Dublin-Statue of Wolfe Tone1

Statue in St. Stephen’s Green Park, to Wolfe Tone a leading figure of the Irish Independence Movement

Dublin-Papal Cross-Phoenix Pk1

The Papal Cross in Phoenix Park commemorates the Pope’s visit to Dublin in 1979  

Dublin-Wellington Monument-Phoenix Pk1

The Wellington Testimonial Obelisk in Phoenix Park.  Arthur Wellesley, ‘The Iron Duke’, general and politician, was born in Ireland.

bar-curl4

KNOCKERS – or Those Who KNOCK

KNOCKERS

knock-knockIn my naivety, I thought knockers were people who knocked at doors.

Doors, or so I thought, that are knocked on ….

By Postmen
By The Police
By Postwomen
By Meter Readers
By Touters For Trade
By Charity Collectors
By Suspicious  Callers
By Christmas Carollers
By Political Canvassers
By Deliverers  Of Goods
By Beggars and Pleaders
By Children at Halloween
By Subscription Collectors
By Neighbourhood Watchers
By Collectors and  Borrowers
By Salesmen and Saleswomen
By Online Shopping Deliverers
By the Travelling Fish Van Man
By Vendors of Household  Goods
By Proselytisers of Religious Sects
By Kids Playing  Knock Down Ginger
By ‘Round Table’ Collectors at Christmas
By Persons leaving parcels for a Neighbour

bar152

BUT . . .

My illusions
were proved to be delusions
when, out borrowing,
I came across the following …

best-knockers

My photograph was taken in Rye on the English Channel coast of East Sussex in 2005 . . .  WHB.

So to make the situation worse
I turned at last to verse . . . 

We have the best knockers in town,
They patrol our street up and down.
If you’re not in good shape
Then you’d better escape,
Or they’ll certainly cause you to frown.

’Cos they ring and they knock twenty times,
Even when you’ve got ‘GO AWAY’ signs,
Saying “You must now leave
Or you’re going to receive
A summons for multiple crimes.”

But then someone pointed it out,
There certainly was cause for some doubt.
As I’m not very clever
I’d made a bad error
Over what this old sign was about.

They said I was most asinine;
I was dim and unable to shine.
To them it was clear
I had no idea
I’d mistaken a word in the sign.

Yes, to put it quite bluntly you see,
I’d boobed over what it could be
In my defence
I  thought something else.
I was really naive you’ll agree.

I had  taken the word at face value;
I believe every word these signs say.
I just wasn’t thinking;
Perhaps I’d been drinking;
Never dreamt that they meant it that way.

There was no way that I could have guessed;
I  knew not these words were just jests.
If they’d meant to be clear
And were really sincere,
They should NOT have said ‘KNOCKERS’ but ‘CHESTS’.

bar153

I’ll give the last words on this edifying subject to Paul McCartney and ‘WINGS’ . . .
“Someone’s Knockin’ At The Door”  (‘Let ‘Em in’ … 1976) .

 

bar153