MIND GAMES

‘Mind Games’ … WHB – 1956

 

Enigmatic
Covert
Whimsical and wild
Such are the games I play
Whilst mentally beguiled

Hidden within poetry
In discursive verse
My clandestine love affair
Short
intense
And terse

Give to me a reason
Why thus I can’t express
My willingness to capture
My need to seek excess

To open up
Revealing all
Whilst midst the subterfuge
My ego seeks adrenaline
A haven
A refuge

It’s all a nonsense
Words at play
Fending off my fears
Seeking to screen my inner hurt
reality kept at bay

 

 

 

My Mirror

Self-Portrait Aged 20 – on Black Scraperboard:  WHB

Is this a selfie
I see before me?
Is this reflected
In my story?

Mirror mirror
Please tell me now
I am lovely
Take a bow

Am I vain
Or am I boring
Just look at me
My ego’s soaring

Go to blazes
Tell me why
They say that I’m
Pie in the sky

And when I try
To look my best
I do not doubt
That I am blessed

But all’s a mirage
Tempting fate
Wonky nose
And wobbly gait

To have  a visage
Worth a look
I’d completely empty
My cheque book

Not quite Helen
Who launched those ships
More like my own
Apocalypse

My face my fortune
Some will say
I’d swap for handsome
Any day

Stop pulling faces
They all said
But it’s quite normal
I’m thoroughbred

At least I look
As though I mean it
Unlike some
I don’t demean it

Because I feel
I have no guile
Doesn’t mean
I’m mean and facile

But all is not
Quite what it seems
For what I see
Is in my dreams

And I can tell
Just looking at me
My face is all
That it can be

I know I’m right
As I should be
I really am
The me I see

Self-Portrait Aged 20 – Negative of Black Scraperboard:  WHB

My Inner Self

‘Contemplation’ – Pen and Wash … WHB: August 2017

In the private
life of my mind 
I am blind 
To all else 
But myself 
It is where I live 
And give 
To no one 

Escaping pain
Selfish thoughts reign
I disdain
Those interruptions
Reality’s incursions 
Into my fenced off realm 
Where exist no qualms
Other than those I truly own
Unknown 
To all save me 

For here I am free 
Disconnected
From my overt life 
My true self’s bed
On which I have bled
A thousand wounds
Unstaunched
But healed within
This inner cache
Hard ego shell
Learned defence
Against reality
And the imperative thrust
of time and circumstance
Looking always for 
That memory trace
That state of grace
To which I aspire. 

 

Revelations

Roland’s response, originally Posted on June 11th, 2017, to that day’s ‘Daily Prompt’ on the ‘Daily Post website’ at:   ‘REVELATIONS’

 

I’m reluctant to reveal
The way that I feel
It’s not a big deal
Less said, soonest heal.

NO …

Revelations are not for me,
I’m a secretive person, you see.

And I of course know
That you reap what you sow.

So for now I’m a sceptic,
More than a little dyspeptic.

It may be divisive to say so,
But I just don’t like hubris or ego.

You can say that I’m bitter
‘Cos I’m not a transmitter.

Not allowing myself to be smart
I bury my sins in my heart.

That’s the best place for litter,
Not on Facebook or Twitter!

 

MIRROR! MIRROR!

WHB – scraperboard sketch

Mirror! Mirror!
On my screen
Can I believe
What I have seen?

Mirror! Mirror!
Tell me now
I am awesome,
Take a bow.

Is this a selfie
I see before me?
Is this reflected
In my story?

Am I vain,
Or am I boring?
Look at me,
My ego’s soaring.

Go to blazes!
Tell me why
I’m not just
Pie in the sky.

Tell me that
I should believe it;
 At least I look
As though I mean it.

Because I feel
I have no guile
Doesn’t mean
I’m mean and facile.

My face my fortune
It is said;
If they are right
My palm’s ill-read.

But all is not
Quite what it seems,
For what I see
Is in my dreams.

And I can tell
Just looking at me,
I’m not like
The me I see.

WHB – scraperboard (negative)