The Guest List

The party was in full flow
Friends and neighbours all
some I liked, some I didn’t,
The short, the fat, the tall.

Hardly a rave, but nevertheless,
A lively gathering,
All members of my social set
Blithering, Swaggering, jabbering.

Sashaying around the village hall
While the Violets were shrinking,
I’ll introduce the ones I know,
Talking, drinking, winking.

Luce Lizzy, déshabillé of course, was there,
Flirting with Slack Edna – loose and sloppy – as usual

Wally Batty, shooting pigeons, most out of character.

Nora Bittov enjoyed nibbling the peanuts.

Hans Zupp showed willing, as usual.

But Dai La Finn enlivened proceedings when he keeled over,

Ivor Ed Aike left early, claiming he wasn’t feeling well’

Jackie Tallin also soon threw in the towel and went home early.

Eva Brick had another tantrum and started throwing crockery,

While G. G. Dunnit spread fertiliser on the garden.

Randy Hertz, indulged his masochistic bent with two Gentlemen of Verona

While Googie Withers wilted by the radiator.

Dai Dinderwool kept telling the same old jokes he did every time we met.

Tara Korsetzov threw caution to the winds and did a streak across the tennis court.

Dickie Bird gave us a rendering of ‘A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square’,

followed shortly by Jim Khana jumping over the bar and helping himself to a flagon of Johnny Walker.

Which, of course, he shared with Don Keedarby.

Sam U Rye crossed swords with everyone he met.

Winnie Bago drove everyone mad with her erratic manoeuvres,

While Frank Insents did his best to spread his fragrance around.

Eileen Dover at the table gave Flo Tingvota her seal of approval.

Abel Toobegood was busy trying to cheer up Elle Hathaway,

While Ann A Babtist and Ann T Boddy reverted to chat on their favourite subjects of religion and Covid-19.

Having long ago decided that this was getting a bit too fractious and quite unsuitable for my daughter’s 5th Birthday party
I thanked them all, even the uninvited, for turning up
And we ended by all joining Hans Toogether
and singing a resounding chorus with
Will Yenokumbakaggen.