Found behind a large hotel I was staying at in Somerset, UK, in 2010.  Photo: WHB



For want of a staircase a ladder will do,

Perhaps when the fire starts there won’t be a queue.

Such was the thinking by those in the know;

For a four star hotel this came as a blow.


To all we old codgers who can’t climb up stairs

This came as a setback, to add to our cares.

To find our retreat cut off in such fashion

Was a palpable blow that sent us all ashen.


So we went to reception describing our plight.

We were told not to worry, things would fast be put right.

A new lift had been ordered to be installed soon.

When I asked them just when they said “Maybe next June.”


“But don’t worry sir, we’ve got adequate cover.

Our waiter’s a big lad and so is his brother.

Between them they’ll see that you come to no harm,

And besides we’ve just installed a new smoke alarm.”