Linguistic Gripes

‘I know my call is important to you’
But – Listen up!
I am not one of ‘You Guys’,
and speaking personally
(But then how else could I speak?)
Do I fill IN this form
Or should that be OUT?
Just get on with it, Pleeze!

I don’t know how to tick all
Or even some of the boxes
But …Pas de problem, mon ami,
… No worries …
Just chillax!

NO,

This is NOT a very unique situation.

Be aware,
Uniqueness has no degrees.
I was not born yesterday,
Nor even back in the whatever day,
And while you mention it,
That free gift you offer me,
Just as all havens are safe,
Aren’t ALL gifts free?


And, can I mention –
‘At this moment in time’?
So cumbersome!
When ‘NOW’ will do.

And, OMG,
I’ll stop you there,
before you continue –
It’s ”Should HAVE’.
‘Should OF’ is, well,
an epic fail –
as is ‘Off OF’.


Now I must take a break,
Lie, not lay, down.
Is it worth continuing,
Even though time can’t be stopped?
How did DOORS become EARLY
Or an INVITATION become an INVITE?

Oh well, FYI, I say
 . . . Stercus accidit! –
As would the Romans.

LOL !!!



Outmoded Slang

SLANG: a type of language consisting of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people.

It’s a shame when words expire,
Especially the vernacular,
Like pizazz and balderdash;
Such words are quite spectacular.

Gadzooks has long been dead
And other words are dying.
Lost are darn and drat it,
In desuetude they are lying.

scallywag, twerp and wally,
Scoundrel, bounder, cad,
Have passed away and gone,
Their day they all have had.

No more nincompoops or rotters,
They rolled sweetly off the tongue.
So sad to see their passing,
No more we’ll hear them sung.

As for pillocks and rapscallions,
They’ve all died and gone to heaven,
Where they can still be rascals,
While awaiting Armageddon.