The Writing’s On The Wall

Pen & Ink Sketch … WHB – May 2017

The Writing’s On The Wall

(Verses using idiomatic expressions)

It’s all over bar the shouting,
Pride goes before a fall;
Another nail in the coffin,
The writing’s on the wall.

“You’ve not a hope in hell’, they said
You’re doomed to sink like a stone.
Abandon hope who enters here.”
But the devil looks after his own.

I will not beat about the bush
Nor bark up that wrong tree.
Yes, it’s back to square one I go,
‘Twixt devil and deep blue sea.

Some time I’ll bite the bullet again,
But till the bitter end
Blood, sweat and tears it is for me
Till I am round the bend,

No, I’m not about to bite the dust,
Nor to push up the daisies,
For I am still alive and kicking,
Singing my own  life’s praises.

Yes, the cleft stick that I am in
Is just a cock-and-bull story,
For I will last till the cows come home
In my Land of Hope and Glory.

And when the hue and cry are over
Then I’m  off to the Land of Nod.
When those hell’s bells have sounded.
All’s still in the lap of the gods.

Yes, every dog will have its day
The writing is on the wall
Every cloud has a silver lining
I’m not heading for a fall.

Linguistic Gripes

‘I know my call is important to you’
But – Listen up!
I am not one of ‘You Guys’,
and speaking personally
(But then how else could I speak?)
Do I fill IN this form
Or should that be OUT?
Just get on with it, Pleeze!

I don’t know how to tick all
Or even some of the boxes
But …Pas de problem, mon ami,
… No worries …
Just chillax!

NO,
This is NOT a very unique situation.
Be aware,
Uniqueness has no degrees.
I was not born yesterday,
Nor even back in the whatever day,
And while you mention it,
That free gift you offer me,
Just as all havens are safe,
Aren’t ALL gifts free?

And, can I mention –
‘At this moment in time’?
So cumbersome!
When ‘NOW’ will do.

And, OMG,
I’ll stop you there,
before you continue –
It’s ”Should HAVE’.
‘Should OF’ is, well,
an epic fail –
as is ‘Off OF’.

Now I must take a break,
Lie, not lay, down.
Is it worth continuing,
Even though time can’t be stopped?
How did DOORS become EARLY
Or an INVITATION become an INVITE?

Oh well, FYI, I say
 . . . Stercus accidit! –
As would the Romans.
LOL !!!

Outmoded Slang

SLANG: a type of language consisting of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people.

It’s a shame when words expire,
Especially the vernacular,
Like pizazz and balderdash;
Such words are quite spectacular.

Gadzooks has long been dead
And other words are dying.
Lost are darn and drat it,
In desuetude they are lying.

scallywag, twerp and wally,
Scoundrel, bounder, cad,
Have passed away and gone,
Their day they all have had.

No more nincompoops or rotters,
They rolled sweetly off the tongue.
So sad to see their passing,
No more we’ll hear them sung.

As for pillocks and rapscallions,
They’ve all died and gone to heaven,
Where they can still be rascals,
While awaiting Armageddon.