GENERAL WASTE… Take 2
Now General Waste was a military man.
Yes, a military man was he.
He’d led a life
So full of strife
He knew not where to be.
But when he retired he took a post
As the village waste collector.
He said with a sigh,
“I might as well try,
I’ll be good as a street protector.”
This post he took as a garbage man,
A rum old job to choose.
He wasn’t bitter
He’d nothing much to lose.
He was so used to being obeyed,
He loved issuing orders,
“Now don’t drop that,
You little brat”,
“Or I’ll march you to headquarters.”
But then one day he met another,
A refuse collector she.
So full of beans,
A lass of means
And soon the two became ‘We’.
They did their jobs together now,
He a spry street sweeper,
While she picked waste,
Not to his taste,
Saying “I’m not my husband’s keeper.”
But when at last their jobs were done,
They went home to their cottage.
She called him “Sir”,
He cooked for her,
Their favourite – egg and sausage.
But one fine day she said to him.
“I’ve got a swelling tummy.
It might be that,
Just fancy that,
I’m going to be a mummy.”
Well general Waste was taken aback,
“You mean I’ll be a daddy?
At my age now
I can’t see how
I’ll cope with a little laddy.”
But when he paused and gave it thought,
He decided better of it.
“Might not be bad,
That little lad,
I might just learn to love it.”
Now General Waste, his wife and son,
Derive exceeding pleasure,
As, with great joy,
Man, wife and boy,
They pick up waste together.
These verses were, in fact, preceded by a similar light-hearted poem about the General which I wrote and published on this blog nearly a year ago. If you wish to read this earlier effort of mine you will find it at . . .
‘General Waste Comes To Town’