TO TITILLATE THE TOURISTS
To be beside the sea
That is our nation’s fashion;
It’s obviously the place
For promulgating passion.
But how do seaside shoppers
Decide just what to buy?
Are they tempted by advertisements?
I often wonder why.
Well, once upon a summer,
On a hot and sunny day,
On holiday in Devon,
On a stroll around the bay.
I came across this advert
Along the promenade;
I must admit initially
I thought I’d have it barred.
A touch of seaside whimsy
That’s OK and I’m all for it,
But such immodest come-ons,
Who’d have ever thought it!
‘KNICKERS FOR A NICKER;
POUCHES FOR A POUND’,
To titillate the tourists,
Well, such ads are all around.
But on a seafront shop
I didn’t think it right;
I even thought that something
Was wrong with my eyesight.
I don’t know why it was
I was so overcome,
With thoughts of indignation
I really was struck dumb.
It was just a bit of fun,
Why was I so upset?
But when little George cried ‘Look Dad’
I broke out in a sweat.
“That’s what you and mum wore
When I spied you yesterday.
Can Sue and me have one each,
Like you?”, I heard him say.
NOTE:
‘Nicker’ is Cockney Slang for One Pound. The OED says it’s origin is unknown, but suggests it could be originally horse racing slang. The term … has … London associations … and dates from the early 20th Century (it explains that terrible old joke: ‘Why can’t a one-legged woman change a pound note? Because she’s only got half a (k)nicker!’ and which nobody seems to know the origin of).
Roland's Ragbag 