A Life . . .

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Photo by Chevanon Photography on Pexels.com

 

Life ahead you See

Was never just about Me

For you and I will Be

Ever and always ‘We’

 

 

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He is Gone

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A Quote from that great  English comedienne, actress, singer and songwriter, screenwriter, producer and director, Victoria Wood, who sadly passed away in 2016 at the age of 63 . . .

“In India, if a man dies, the widow flings herself onto the funeral pyre; if a man dies in this country, the woman just drags herself into the kitchen and says, ‘Seventy-two baps, Connie, you slice, I’ll spread’ “

From: ‘Great British Wit’ by Rosemary Jarski  (Ebury Press 2009)

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Pull the stops out
He is gone;
Start a new life,
Don’t dwell upon

What once was quick,
It now is dead,
Life starts afresh;
He always said,

“When I am gone
Do not be sad,
Start a new life
And be glad.

Get out the glad rags,
Have a party,
You’ll be fine now,
Hale and hearty.

Ready to start
A brand new life,
A brand new woman,
An experienced wife.

Time to sparkle,
Forget the past;
Your Prince awaits you,
Free at last.

For when I’m safely
In my box,
No need then
To stop all the clocks.”

 

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Wanted! A Good Woman

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I photographed this poster prominently displayed in the forrard window of a motor cruiser moored at the mouth of a river on the east coast of Kent, England, in 2009.   For those who are unable to decipher the wording on the poster, I quote it here . . .

WANTED
GOOD
WOMAN
Must Be Able to Clean
Cook, Sew, Dig Worms
and Clean Fish
Must Have Boat 
and Motor
ALSO SEND PICTURE OF
BOAT AND MOTOR

The, presumably tongue-in-cheek, audacity prompted me to write the verses below . . .

Wanted!  A Good Woman

Wanted! A pliant good woman
A sturdy strapping lass;
Content to be a willing wife –
One of the servile class.

Someone to meet my every need,
Allow me my own space;
Clean my house, cook. sew and dig
And do it with good grace.

My priorities must be upheld
I need no self-willed martyr
Who’ll bicker and demand a fee
Each time I tweak her garter.

A bit of brass, willing to share,
That would not go amiss
I’d give you pocket money too
And from time to time a kiss

A woman’s lot is never done
I know that’s what they say
But after all is said and done
It’ll be worth it for the pay.

You’ll get a home with bed and board
With a kind, considerate master.
What else in life could a lady ask
When all else now has passed her?

And so to sum up my request
I need a loving spouse
A soul-mate made to serve my needs
And good about the house.

Someone to moderate my charms
To make me more unfeeling …

… I don’t know why but no one yet
Has found my job appealing.

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