Shielding in the Nursery
Jack Sprat Is getting fat,
He’s nibbling while he shields.
Weight reduction and old age
Are now his battlefields.
His wife has quite a different plan
As she battles with her weight.
Her diet, filled with pop and coke,
And cake upon her plate.
Tommy Tucker no longer sings,
Waiting for his supper,
Gorging on sweets and chocolate,
And loaves of bread with butter.
Little Miss Muffet’s curds and whey
No longer are enough
To satisfy her appetite,
She huffs and puffs and stuffs.
Georgie Porgie’s pudding and pie
Were never enough for existence,
He’s taken to feeding on fat chicken thigh
As the line of least resistance.
Little Jack Horner still loves his pies,
But one won’t suffice for a snack,
So he adds to his meals a pair of Cartwheels
And a toffee and treacle flapjack.
Now Humpty Dumpty sits on the floor,
He’s had quite enough of falling.
He contents himself with Smarties galore,
His appetite something appalling.
Jack and Jill are filling out,
Snacking all the time,
Drowning their recent lockdown sorrows
In patisseries and wine.
All seem now to have given up trying
To take more care with their diet,
Which causes us all to be sad at their fall,
At least they’re not having a riot.
Roland's Ragbag 