Things that go Bumpf in the Night

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Things that go Bumpf in the Night

 

I do love words
For words help me fly;
They take me to places
I else might pass by.

Take bumpf and  harrumph,
Or guff and baloney,
Phooey and piffle,
Hokum and phoney.

There’s hocus and pocus,
Blather and prattle,
Mumbo and jumbo,
Hooey and twaddle.

Pablum, tommyrot,
Such words I delight in;
Just as gobbledygook,
They my spirits enlighten.

There’s beauty in balderdash,
Malarkey and crap;
Jibber and jabber,
Trash and claptrap.

Bollocks and hokum,
Hogwash and tripe,
Codswallop and bosh
May smack of being hype.

Poppycock and piffle
May be mere tittle-tattle,
Just as so many others
Are gush and fiddle-faddle.

Blabber and drivel,
Humbug and canoodle,
All smack of blarney,
Of palaver and flapdoodle.

Flummery and slapdash,
Blather and gibberish,
They enhance my world,
Such words I will cherish.

They don’t mean a lot,
Some might see them as ludicrous,
But they lighten my life,
They’re fun and they’re humorous.

 

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Epidemiologically Speaking

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Epidemiologically Speaking


Epidemiological,

A word I do not use;
Yet now I hear it every day,
My hearing to abuse.


It’s about the study of risk factors

And microorganisms;
It’s not for me to understand
In this world of surrealisms.


Eight syllables do not with ease

Trip off my twisted tongue.
A word I’m very shy of, so,
For me it remains unsung.

 

Boris, he can say it,
And Mr Hancock too,
But if you really do not mind
I’ll leave it all to you.

 

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On Waking Up

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ON  WAKING UP

Waking, this morning I said,
I don’t think I’ll get out of bed.
There was no concealing
I had hurt her feelings,
I’d spend the day sleeping instead.

Waking in fear and dread,
I regretted those words I had said
I’d not meant to hurt,
Just meant to assert,
I cried crocodile tears when I bled.

Waking and wond’ring what’s next,
I decided to send her a text,
To tell her I’d lied,
Our love had not died –
Just sulking because I was vexed.

 

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What the Dickens!

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What the Dickens!

 

Yes, that’s me,
I’m straight from a Fairy Story,
So don’t “Bah! Humbug” me.
Why not, instead,
Wish me a “Merry Christmas? “

I’m not given to Fluffiness,
Or Cheesiness.
I don’t attempt to Flummox people,
Even those who give me The Creeps;
No! I’m a straight guy,
Maybe a bit of a Doormat.
Never going on the Rampage;
No, Not me….

Suffering Boredom from time to time,
And a bit of a Butterfingers
When it comes to relationships.
Oh, yes, I’ve suffered …
And how!
Straight from the Casualty Ward of Life
Via its discarded Egg Box,
Straight Into its everlasting Dustbin

. . .  Sad, but, the Story Of My Life.

 

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Dickens

My Christmas story – above – is based on an Article by Gyles Brandreth in the ‘Daily Telegraph’ on Xmas Eve – 24/12/19.  He notes that Dickens helped popularise many words and phrases which are now in common usage. Overall Dickens is credited with coining 258 new words, including:

‘Merry Christmas’;  ‘Bah! Humbug!’
Doormat (when used to describe someone who gets walked all over by other people);
Boredom;  Cheesiness;  Fluffiness;  Flummox;  Rampage;
The Creeps (as in, to give someone the creeps);
Dustbin;  Casualty ward;  Fairy story;  Butterfingers;  Egg box.

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Once Upon A Time

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Once Upon A Time

 

 

I used to open doors, now they open for me.

I used to walk upstairs, now I’ve a Stannah stairlift.

I used to dial on my phone, now I press a little green icon.

I used to fall asleep counting wooly jumpers, now I take a pill.

I used to put a record on the turntable, now Lady Alexa does it for me.

I used to visit shops, now shops come to me.

I used to get a tangerine in my Christmas sticking, now it’s a voucher.

I used to vote in a booth, now it’s by proxy.

I used to listen to the Goons, now I watch Gogglebox.

I used to holiday in Blackpool, now it’s a cruise.

  I used to be busy, now I’ve too much to think about.

 

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Two Word Tales #7- The Past Will Teach

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‘Chambord’ … WHB – Pen & Wash

The Past Will Teach

Two words
“I do”
Gave me
Some hope

Two words
“Of Course”
Helped me
To trust

But then
Two words
Led me
To doubt

Those words
“Not now”
Made me
Despair

Two words
“No Luck”
Made clear
My fate

Two words
“Look back”
The past
Will teach

 

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My ‘Two Word’ Verses

Number six  in my series of short verses 

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Two Word Tales: #4

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Two words

‘Good Bye’

Were all

It took

 

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My ‘Two Word’ Verses

Throughout this week, I shall publish each day one of a series of short verses which, together, by the end of the week, will have told a story. 

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Two Word Tales: #3

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Two words

‘With Love’

I lived

That gift

 

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My ‘Two Word’ Verses

Throughout this week, I shall publish each day one of a series of short verses which, together, by the end of the week, will have told a story. 

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